


Remembrance

by meridian_rose (meridianrose)



Category: Blindspot (TV)
Genre: Angst, Conflicted Emotions, Cross-Posted on LiveJournal, Drama, F/M, Gen, Memories, One-Sided Relationship, Past Relationship(s), Undecided Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-22
Updated: 2016-04-22
Packaged: 2018-06-03 20:12:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6624565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meridianrose/pseuds/meridian_rose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The discovery of a corpse bearing a tree tattoo triggers unexpected emotions for Jane and makes her question her connection with Oscar. Set sometime pre s1e15.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Remembrance

His hand lay open, limp, palm face up on the floor. The tree tattoo was clearly visible on his arm, dark against his pale skin. The white sheet covered the rest of the body and Jane was shaking, her lower lip trembling as she approached the corpse.

"I need to see," she said and the urgency in her tone didn't hurry Kurt along but caused him to give her an odd look. "I need to see," she repeated and if someone didn't pull the sheet back she was going to do it herself and God, if it was Oscar, God, no, no, no.

Kurt nodded to the medical examiner who was still making notes at the side of the body. The ME lifted the cloth. Jane held her breath, her fingers curled up into her palms, her pulse pounding in her veins.

Not Oscar.

Jane exhaled. Not Oscar. Nonetheless she tasted bile. She turned on her heel.

"Where are you going?"

"I need some air." Jane walked past a puzzled Reade and Zapata, ignoring Kurt calling her name. She exited the abandoned warehouse, didn't stop until she reached the car.

She sat on the ground, pulled her knees up to her chest. _Breathe, stupid. You're better than this. You've handled worse._

She had to have, right?

But not losing Oscar.

Oscar, who she barely remembered.

Oscar, who she'd once been engaged to.

Oscar, who she'd feared dead when she'd seen that tattoo, and felt a terrible rush of emotion over.

She looked up. On the wall of the old building was a stylized fish painting that had lent its name to the storage facility, and that fish was on her body, almost completely obscured by overlapping designs and numbers. Patterson had found it, given a rambling account of the image being matched when a database had been recently updated with a clear view of the logo.

Some of Jane's tattoos were time sensitive. Was this one, or was it coincidence that Patterson had found it just as a body had been found there?

"Jane?" Kurt strode over to her. "What happened?"

"It reminded me of something. Someone," she said. She held out his hand and he pulled her to her feet. "Sorry. I'm all right now."

"You sure?"

She gave a sharp nod and Kurt began heading back inside. She appreciated his trust in her and she followed, determined to tackle this case with professionalism and detachment.

* * *

That night, Oscar was not in his customary spot on the rooftop. Jane went home, more afraid than she would ever admit to herself.

Just after one am, Oscar nearly got his throat slit by breaking into Jane's house.

"What the hell," Jane demanded, lowering the knife. What the hell was he was doing here, what the hell did he mean by not being there when she was looking for him, what the hell was with the dead guy who bore the same tree on his arm.

Oscar sighed, ran one hand over his hair. "I had some things to take care of."

"The guy we found today?"

He nodded.

Jane put the knife away. "Who was he?"

"I can't tell you that."

She seriously considered pulling the blade out again. "Why does he have the same tattoo you do?"

Oscar remained silent.

"How did you take care of it?"

"The body has been retrieved and disposed of. You won't discover anything meaningful about him. The warehouse, what was there, it's now a dead end."

Jane glared at him. "Tell me something that convinces me you had any right to do that."

"If you had your memories, you would be doing exactly the same things I am." He folded his arms. "That man was someone I never entirely trusted, as it happens. He was part of a backup plan, one that went wrong in ways far worse than any setback our true mission has encountered. I've dealt with it. Forget it. Move on."

Jane stepped forward. "I want to know something else. Something personal."

"Ask. I can't promise to answer."

_His hand lay open, limp, palm face up on the floor. The tree tattoo was clearly visible on his arm, dark against his pale skin._

Not Oscar, but seeing that tattoo had been like a sucker punch.

Why didn't she feel the emotions so strongly when he was here, standing right in front of her? Had he changed, or had she? Were her scattered memories reliable? Did the memories reflect reality or only a romanticised version of it?

"Why did I break off our engagement?"

His hands fell to his sides. "You said it wasn't fair," he said, voice husky with emotion. "You gave me back the ring and I told you I'd take it for safekeeping, but that as far I was concerned, we were still engaged. You though, you wanted me to have the option to move on."

Jane tipped her head.

Oscar gave a short laugh. "As if I'd have time for romance once the plan was underway, all the things I have to do, all the time I spend watching over you." He moistened his lips. "As if I there could be anyone else."

The words stirred something within her, though she sought to stop him saying more, dragging up feelings that could only hurt them both. "Oscar –"

"There has only ever been you," he insisted. "There will only ever be you."

She believed him.

She couldn't know though, what had been her true intent when she'd returned the ring. There were so many questions he wouldn't answer and too many that he could not.

She knew that she wanted to kiss him. She thought if she did it might trigger more memories. With the memories though, there would be more feelings.

She turned away. "I think you should go."

She felt his eyes on her for a long moment. She heard the click of the door as he finally left.

She wished she'd left herself better instructions. Trust Oscar, she'd told herself, but what about loving Oscar, what about kissing him, what about letting him trace every one of her tattoos with his tongue…

Jane moaned in frustration.

Had choosing to forget him been easy, or was it only remembering him that was so difficult?

**Author's Note:**

> [tumblr promo post](http://meridianrose.tumblr.com/post/143226877626/remembrance-meridianrose-meridianrose) ; my The Borgias/Francois Arnaud et al sideblog is [here](http://knifecesarehappeneding.tumblr.com/)


End file.
